Calvin had an excellent night. I was called to the NICU at 1:30 am. He had been awake for a while and the nurse thought I should try breast-feeding. He ate for 5 minutes (I had actually just pumped so he wasn't really eating). That was impressive! The next feeding was all done with a bottle by the nurse because he woke up right before she was going to hook up the tube feeding. She was very impressed again. THEN, I went down at 8 and the NICU doctor was doing his rounds. He said Calvin should come out of the isolate (the warmer, I figured out what it is called). Side Note: Calvin is out of the isolate as of right now and he is keeping his temp up just fine. The doctor said everything still looks great and we just need to get the feedings done without the tube. I tried nursing again and he did for a minute or so. He took the rest of the feeding with a bottle and once again impressed the nurse on duty. He had an excellent few feedings and it shows he is capable of doing it!
Now it is a waiting game to see if any other complications kick in before we can go home. One thing that is showing up is jaundice. He has been really sleepy since that morning feeding and was fed through the tube these past 2 times. However, I will not be discouraged at this point. The attending dr commented on not seeing a baby in the NICU eat so well so soon. I will hold on to that and continue praying for Calvin's strength and energy so we can bring him home!
I will be leaving soon and spending the night at home. It is bittersweet. I am looking forward to seeing the boys and spending time with them. I just feel a bit strange leaving Calvin here - like he's not my responsibility. I will not stress, I will not stress! I have to let go of some of this.
Grandma Jo Jo was able to hold Calvin for the first time. He was so tired out from his morning feedings. I caught him with his tongue sticking out. I'm not sure if that is a Ds look or not (I don't see that much at all) but it does not matter to me. I understand that now. When I look at him I see how his hair was like Evan's. I see how sweet he is. I see that he is completely a person. I see my baby and I know how he is capable of doing things that none of us will ever be able to do. How could I have worried so much? It brings tears to my eyes.