Saturday, August 21, 2010

Special needs

I am already learning that as a parent of a child with special needs comes my own special needs. I need a shorter 'to do' list, more emotional support than usual, more time to tackle the extra 'to do' list for Calvin, and on and on. I am listening to Nolan whine in the bathtub. He is in there with Evan and (drumroll please) they are fighting! Wow, if only that were something new. Again, I am left wondering how my parents did it with 7 kids and so many of us so close in age. No wonder they ignored so much tattling!

Well, back to the special needs bit. I have been having a few hard days. I know I'm not supposed to for this reason or that, but I just am. What I mean by that is that when we tell one another what is stressful, we tend to say 'don't worry about it' or something of the like. I promise right now I will try not to ever respond that way. Cripes, I am worried about it! I am worried about money, time, whether or not my youngest will nurse or quit aspirating in the next 3 years, how I will feel when I see other kids his age doing things he cannot, or what I will say when someone is insensitive to the whole situation. I am having a moment of feeling very alone. I'm sure I have on the blinders a bit here but I am looking around wondering who can truly relate to what my situation is and I am reminded that it is indeed my situation. However, I can pray, I can talk to people I feel will provide me with some of that emotional support thing, and I can pick up my head and take a step forward.

And that my friends, is what I am going to do. Right now anyways. I'm sure I'll have to go through the steps again next time! Thanks for listening, it's time to mix up a bottle of solids for my 4 week old...

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