Saturday, February 12, 2011

Boo hoo

I have started many posts but never complete them. I am going through a bit of a challenging time but I want to share so much. First of all, remember Peter, the orphan I posted about here, over on Patti's blog? Well, he has a family! That is great news, to say the least (and sorry there is not more coming out of me, I am so worn out...)

Second of all, my mood is up and down with my back problems. I still do not have answers. I am putting off an MRI because of the expense of it. I transferred chiropractic care and we have had 3 adjustments. Slowly things were improving with combined use of an acupuncturist. Now, I am not sure I am sold on acupuncture but hey, I'm willing to try it. Well, I did not go 2 times this week like I was and my back is getting worse again. I will be having x-rays on Monday. My new chiropractor thought too that I have jammed facet joints but if it is still not improving he wants to of course know why not. 3 possibilities are out there right now: jammed facet joints, thoracic degeneration, or a cyst or tumor in my spine. He did not originally think cyst or tumor because I do not have any other symptoms that would 'jive' with that theory. However, if I have thoracic degeneration (very uncommon) it sounds as though pain management is the best hope for me.

Needless to say, I am down in the dumps over this. I am 31, what if my back will always be like this? I am going from no back problems to this forever? The best part of the last week was the improvement. I was feeling so much better, but that is not the case tonight :( In fact, it tends to take over my whole being and I just want answers. Why do answers have to cost so much? We get them, and then it costs money to do something with them. Money and time, both are something I do not like to just hand over. Poor me right? I am going to get to bed and pray. However, I feel frustrated that I have to pray for acceptance. Again. Without sounding whiny, I just want a break. I don't want to have to deal with something serious. Down syndrome is not the only thing I have had to 'deal' with. It has been a tough past few years. Of course great, but tough. I just want the great/good for a while. Okay, I will stop whining now. Here are some pics to brighten the mood.
Me and Aunt Pat
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This is large and I don't want to take time to re-size, so enjoy the life-size Calvin reaching out to get you! He is reaching for most things now, including the broccoli on my plate!
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"Evan, bed-time is in 10 minutes."
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Katie, yes, you need glasses. Mom and Chrissy and Katie all have a similar expression...watching the Super Bowl.
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3 comments:

  1. I will pray for you. Sometimes all these "challenges" come together at once and feel overwhelming. I get it. I get just wanting a break from it all. You are certainly allowed your moments to get it out to help deal with life. When my little girl with Down syndrome was about three months, I was still dealing with the diagnosis, was in a pretty big car accident and had both my grandmothers die a about two weeks apart. Then a couple months later, I was told my little girl needed hearing aides and a small surgery. Believe me, I whined, cried, vented, complained. But, with God's love and help, we made it through. Hang in there.

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  2. I am so sorry you are feeling so bad.....I pray that you will have some answers soon and that you will be feeling better. It seems like when life hits you, it hits you hard. The same thing happened to me around the time of Ally's birth and right after her birth. I will keep you in my prayers...stay strong...you have such a beautiful family :)

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  3. I haven't read your posts in a little while and am sad to hear about the back pain. SO... Come in a get a massage, on the house. I am leaving on a va-ca wed for a week but otherwise I work every friday and some other days, depending on when Aaron is home. You're such a hard working mom , you deserve it!

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