Friday, April 29, 2011

A journey unexpected

A year ago, May 12th, I was arrested and spent the past year in prison. Well, technically jail since I spent less than a year in there.
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I somewhat innocently went in for a 27 week ultrasound and came out with the firsthand knowledge that life is indeed fragile. So fragile that I felt like a rat in a cage. Now, I know that is not God's doing. After all, he gave His only Son to die for me so that I may have freedom. Which reminds me...I wanted to also recommend reading The Shack.

I realized today that I am finally feeling free. The life that was bestowed upon me was not what I signed up for. I cried to my sister-in-law for darn near 2 hours last year when I was awaiting the amnio results. I felt like life-as-I-knew it was ending.

Well, it was. It has been a tough year. I was forced into a life I didn't think I wanted. I thought my life was going to be less than ordinary.

Come to find out, it is extra-ordinary.
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Remember those Thank-you's I mentioned a couple of weeks ago? Well, yesterday I went out to the mailbox and came back with a hand-written thank-you for the thank-you from none other than the lead surgeon during Calvin's heart surgery. When I walked in and saw Calvin I had this big smile for him. If it were not for Calvin I would not have this life. It is true. It is exactly what I cried about. Life is so fragile. I am feeling so free and yet I am so aware of the fact that I will once again feel like a prisoner. I will suffer again in this life. But in the meantime, I am going fly like an eagle, into the future. Photobucket
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Meow-y...more on HIM later (he is new, as of tonight, and I think he is cute...)

5 comments:

  1. Beautiful post...you are an incredible writer. Thanks for touching the heart on this one. Loved The Shack too...have you ever read any of Karen Kingsbury's books? Love those tool :).

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  2. I second you the Shack recommendation. And isn't it the best life now :)

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  3. <3 this post. I don't know how it's possible, but he just gets cuter & cuter. Yay for a new cat!

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  4. Look at this little cutie! Glad to have found your blog!

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  5. Your kiddos are so beautiful.
    I don't know why we let our emotions take us prisoner. If you've read my Eslea's birth story you know I was a prisoner too. But now I realize that having a kiddo with DS has set me FREE!! I never realized I was truely trapped before!
    You know, Eslea is still really tiny. She didn't grow till after her open heart surgery. She is now only 15lbs at almost 8mths. :)
    Cat huh??? Not sure. My oldest wants one. Hmmmmm!
    -erin

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