Friday, April 29, 2011

A journey unexpected

A year ago, May 12th, I was arrested and spent the past year in prison. Well, technically jail since I spent less than a year in there.
I somewhat innocently went in for a 27 week ultrasound and came out with the firsthand knowledge that life is indeed fragile. So fragile that I felt like a rat in a cage. Now, I know that is not God's doing. After all, he gave His only Son to die for me so that I may have freedom. Which reminds me...I wanted to also recommend reading The Shack.

I realized today that I am finally feeling free. The life that was bestowed upon me was not what I signed up for. I cried to my sister-in-law for darn near 2 hours last year when I was awaiting the amnio results. I felt like life-as-I-knew it was ending.

Well, it was. It has been a tough year. I was forced into a life I didn't think I wanted. I thought my life was going to be less than ordinary.

Come to find out, it is extra-ordinary.
Remember those Thank-you's I mentioned a couple of weeks ago? Well, yesterday I went out to the mailbox and came back with a hand-written thank-you for the thank-you from none other than the lead surgeon during Calvin's heart surgery. When I walked in and saw Calvin I had this big smile for him. If it were not for Calvin I would not have this life. It is true. It is exactly what I cried about. Life is so fragile. I am feeling so free and yet I am so aware of the fact that I will once again feel like a prisoner. I will suffer again in this life. But in the meantime, I am going fly like an eagle, into the future. Photobucket
Meow-y...more on HIM later (he is new, as of tonight, and I think he is cute...)


  1. Beautiful are an incredible writer. Thanks for touching the heart on this one. Loved The Shack too...have you ever read any of Karen Kingsbury's books? Love those tool :).

  2. I second you the Shack recommendation. And isn't it the best life now :)

  3. <3 this post. I don't know how it's possible, but he just gets cuter & cuter. Yay for a new cat!

  4. Look at this little cutie! Glad to have found your blog!

  5. Your kiddos are so beautiful.
    I don't know why we let our emotions take us prisoner. If you've read my Eslea's birth story you know I was a prisoner too. But now I realize that having a kiddo with DS has set me FREE!! I never realized I was truely trapped before!
    You know, Eslea is still really tiny. She didn't grow till after her open heart surgery. She is now only 15lbs at almost 8mths. :)
    Cat huh??? Not sure. My oldest wants one. Hmmmmm!