Wednesday, June 1, 2011

2-in-1 yet much much more

Honestly, this is because I have been really stressed. Busy. Equals. Stress. For. Me. Anyways. Do? You? Like? Reading? One? Word? At? A? Time?

Okay, seriously though...I am really changing. I can can feel it. It is almost too much to put here. Me, myself, and I...Is it normal to be in your early 30s with a few kids and husband and start to really think a lot more about who in the heck you are? Cuz that is what I have been doing. Starting with becoming more self-assured.

To wrap up a big one and open it up for you: I am who I am and I need to quit selling myself short. I do that, you know? I always have.

"Oh yeah, so dramatic." It is sayings like this that ruin us. We can be who we are and not be dramatic. We can feel what we feel and not need justification. We can say what is on our mind and not be wrong! We can love ourselves and not be judged. We are people. We are loved. God accepts and loves us for who we are.

"I do not need to earn my keep." Did I know that? Well, I am learning that.

I am the oldest girl in a family of 7. I am a caretaker. I love taking care of people, places, animals, things. I do it. I do it well (self-assured). But?

Okay, if you are a wise woman, you know my 'but'...

But, I want to be valued for being someone other than a caretaker. I want to have fun. I want to accept myself. Bottom. Line. Yep. I. Am. Doing. It. Again.

I am so so so grateful to God for the path He has led me on.

You know, God does not need fancy. He does not want pride. He does not want perfect. He wants unity. Grace. Love. Faith. He wants us to be happy.

You know what I want for my family? And friends? For them to be happy. But, just as God handles us, it is not my job. That is something I have to let go of.

Where is all of this coming from? A lot of work on myself with wise people and with God in my heart.

My goal in life: Quit criticizing. Let go. Do not judge. Accept. Work with others. Be kind. Share God and Jesus.

This is sort of new for me. But I know it is the right way. It is the less stressful way of life. I want others to trust me and know my heart is true. Therefore, I want my heart to be true. I want to be true to myself - that is the starting point.

I feel better. How about you?

2 comments:

  1. Beautifully written, and I could not agree more. I find myself in the same spot. Could it be our kids with Down syndrome have given us a gift...a way to look at life in such a richer more meaningful way? Your goals are what I try to be as well. But, I fall short often but keep trying. God is good like that, knows our imperfections, loves us anyway, and keeps helping us achieve those goals through our trials. Thanks for putting your heart and thoughts into words and allowing me to reflect too.

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  2. I often find myself reflecting on my life. Where I've been. Where I am & Where I'm going or at least where it looks like I'm going. One thing I have learned is that I am not just one kind of person. I find that I (like you) am an ever evolving woman with many man facets. Goals change. Paths change. Loves change. Needs change.

    My personal goal is not to keep up or try to figure it out, but to just go with the flow & make no excuses for it. It seems as though you're reaching your "no excuses" path. I'm glad I get to walk that oath with you.

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