Where have I been?
In my own little world, but thinking about everything else...
I was very bothered (as I should have been) after last week's blog posts from Susanna regarding their daughter who is in a Bulgarian orphanage. I have been asking over and over what I can do to help (I've been asking God, after I asked Him how He could let that happen and realized He does not and it hurts Him, too...and many more thoughts).
I know...wait, I KNOW this blog is one way I can help. I can continue to show you that people with Down syndrome are normal. Did you hear me? NORMAL. Oh yes, it's true. No, I did not think so 16 months ago. I really did not they much about Ds then because I had zero experience but now I consider myself an expert. Wink Wink.
I sat, 7 months pregnant, in a rocking chair and cried because I wondered about the little boy I lost.
When you get a prenatal diagnosis, you loose the person you thought you were going to have. Really, how silly is that? What makes us think we ever know what is going to happen, or that we can control it? I am a victim of those thoughts, over and over again.
Well, I was thinking about it again tonight. I look at Calvin and sometimes, in a moment of a single breath, wonder what he would look like if he didn't have Ds. Probably like Evan. A blue-eye'd version of him.
Then, I go back to that fair thing. You know, the thing where I remind myself if I am going to play those kind of games, I need to be fair about it. I need to, in turn, ask if I'd miss out on what he does look like. The answer is 'yes'. I love what Calvin looks like, Ds features and all. I love the way his feet point out. I love his thick little neck, button nose, short arms and legs, pot belly, and squinty smiling eyes. I do not care if some of these things hold him back in regards to motor development. I have decided, a while back that is, he is who he is. I am going to meet him where he's at.
Some parents (and I am not judging, just pointing out) work extremely hard at correcting the differences in their children. Yes, it is necessary sometimes. But, if it is not necessary with Calvin, I am not going to stress over it. I will work with it if possible and not in a way that makes my life more stressful or negative.
Take low-muscle tone for example. This causes Calvin to be extremely flexible. Like touch-the-top-of-your-foot-to-your-shin flexible. This flexibility makes it harder for Calvin to stand and will negatively impact his large motor development (walking, jumping, etc) Do I seem stressed about that or wish it differently? Nope. Not going to get sucked in to that way of living. I wish I were more flexible...
Calvin will be okay.
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12: 9-10)
The following photos are from our trip last week. We went up to Birchwood, WI for a few nights with my in-laws. It was a "success" - we relaxed and enjoyed many laughs and good times (except a few glitches here and there). We played lots of CatchPhrase and Things. Also, Joe and I went on the tube and I can say that I kicked his butt. He was thrown off a few times and I held on! Yep, I rule ;)