Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Expectations

Warning: Boring post ahead!

I tend to have really high expectations.  Just ask my husband.

Often times I am frustrated with him and he will tell me my expectations are higher than his.  Sometimes too high.  This was really eye opening for me.  "Aren't everyone's like this?"  Clearly not.

I have been pretty (okay, very) stressed since going back to work.  I think that being home for 15 months set up some high expectations for what I do here.  I would usually have the housework done by the time Joe got home from work and I definitely tried to have work done prior to Friday evening.  I had these goals because a) I am a goal driven person and b) I wanted the work off our plates so we could enjoy family time - which gave me the goal in the first place.

So, throw in leaving the house for the day and not even getting home until after Joe gets home.  Yep, stress.  Because I am not meeting these expectations.

I was pretty low on Sunday morning.  Partially because I was sick, partially because I had a lot to do at work, and mostly because I wanted to just be enjoying family time at home and not have things hanging over my head.

Well, I went for a run because that usually helps.  It did.  I talk to God the majority of my runs and all of a sudden I thought about expectations and how they are connected to how I was feeling.  "Who says I should be have these things done?"  Me!  Okay, I can take care of that then!

So, my new goal (yes, another goal) is to be very careful with my expectations.  They are healthy when striving for something good/better (like in regards to Calvin) but not when they cross into the zone of  creating too much or repeated stress.

Granted, my brain knows all this, but I honestly need to take time adjusting to actually living this way.  Just like I have adjusted to no dairy and gluten for the past 3 months.  That created stress, but not anymore.  I adjusted.

5 comments:

  1. I'm sorry to read that you were feeling low. I can relate to what you wrote. You are right, our expectations should not create any more stress!

    ReplyDelete
  2. It takes a long time to adjust your expectations of yourself. I struggle everyday with the same thing. I have found that I even though I always sense the "to do" list in the back of my mind, I allow myself to enjoy my family. I have convinced myself that the mess won't go anywhere. I've also asked rob to help more. That has helped a lot. When he does something, it comes off my list & makes me feel better.

    Hope you're able to feel less burdened by expectations. :) I'm always here to bounce ideas off of.

    ReplyDelete
  3. {{{HUGS}}}} You have made the first step--recognizing that you need to re-evaluate your expectations. I also think Joe can help with the housework now that you are back at work. It needs to be divided up. Joe, do not be angry! :) btw, not a boring post. I think that many of us feel the same way sometimes. I am not currently working, but sometimes I feel the same way as I try to balance therapies, housework, marriage, etc. Hang in there!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I too wrestle with these similar feelings. That list in the back of your head will drive you crazy, for sure. Thinking of you...

    ReplyDelete