I am not kidding when I share I was back at the clinic yesterday afternoon.
3 days in a row. 4:30pm, what time is that? Oh, time to bring a kid to the doctor. This time, lets bring Nolan and Evan because they have fevers over 100 degrees!
Verdict? I have scripts for antibiotics because Nolan has one ear that is a little inflamed. However, I am holding off because I think it is a new virus.
Wait, it gets better.
Joe and I had a date last night. If we would not have had tickets ahead of time we would not have gone. So, before I left for the doctor I put Calvin down for a nap.
I thought he also felt a tad bit warm but I'm thinking "no way, he's on an antibiotic". Mostly I didn't want to believe it. He slept for about 2.5 hours and Grandma Jo Jo watched him while I took the other 2 in. When I got back, all 3 were with her until we would get home from our date.
We got home a little after 8:30 (the date is a whole 'nother topic - a good one). Calvin had a fever of 102.2! What in the world???
Joe said some medical stuff that translated in my head as "bacterial die-off", "it's a good sign", and something else related to an effect of the shot and oral antibiotic.
I did call the on-call doctor and she said since the other 2 have something going on, we could wait.
As of this morning I want to hang it up and call it all quits. I feel very bad for the boys. They have literally had a cold of some sort for the past 6 weeks. This is strange. We had maybe 2 all last fall/winter/spring/summer. What is going on?! I understand it is kids and kids in daycare and school. But they are miserable and deserve a break.
And so do I. I would be lying if I didn't say I don't think about resigning from my job. I'd be lying if I said I do not think about it every single day.
Is this normal? I am trying so hard to balance and give it time, etc etc. I am looking ahead at the future of our family and myself. I do not know what the right answer is. I pray about it a lot. Joe and I talk about it and he supports it but wants to give it more time first.
I feel like I am not giving enough of myself to any aspect of my life. It is partial on all accounts. And I am stressed. Hopefully soon I'll find peace with the day-to-day living. I feel sorry for myself at times and then suck it up and think about how great I have it and how much of a baby I'm being. That said, it's time to quit wallowing in self-pity and get on the treadmill. Literally. Time for a run.