Saturday, October 8, 2011

I Kid You Not

I am not kidding when I share I was back at the clinic yesterday afternoon.

3 days in a row.  4:30pm, what time is that?  Oh, time to bring a kid to the doctor.  This time, lets bring Nolan and Evan because they have fevers over 100 degrees!

Verdict?  I have scripts for antibiotics because Nolan has one ear that is a little inflamed.  However, I am holding off because I think it is a new virus.

Wait, it gets better.

Joe and I had a date last night.  If we would not have had tickets ahead of time we would not have gone.  So, before I left for the doctor I put Calvin down for a nap.

I thought he also felt a tad bit warm but I'm thinking "no way, he's on an antibiotic".  Mostly I didn't want to believe it.  He slept for about 2.5 hours and Grandma Jo Jo watched him while I took the other 2 in.  When I got back, all 3 were with her until we would get home from our date.

We got home a little after 8:30 (the date is a whole 'nother topic - a good one).  Calvin had a fever of 102.2!  What in the world???

Joe said some medical stuff that translated in my head as "bacterial die-off", "it's a good sign", and something else related to an effect of the shot and oral antibiotic.

I did call the on-call doctor and she said since the other 2 have something going on, we could wait.

As of this morning I want to hang it up and call it all quits.  I feel very bad for the boys.  They have literally had a cold of some sort for the past 6 weeks.  This is strange.  We had maybe 2 all last fall/winter/spring/summer.  What is going on?! I understand it is kids and kids in daycare and school.  But they are miserable and deserve a break.

And so do I.  I would be lying if I didn't say I don't think about resigning from my job.  I'd be lying if I said I do not think about it every single day.

Is this normal?  I am trying so hard to balance and give it time, etc etc.  I am looking ahead at the future of our family and myself.  I do not know what the right answer is.  I pray about it a lot.  Joe and I talk about it and he supports it but wants to give it more time first.

I feel like I am not giving enough of myself to any aspect of my life.  It is partial on all accounts.  And I am stressed.  Hopefully soon I'll find peace with the day-to-day living.  I feel sorry for myself at times and then suck it up and think about how great I have it and how much of a baby I'm being.  That said, it's time to quit wallowing in self-pity and get on the treadmill.  Literally.  Time for a run.


  1. No, having kids being sick is extremely stressful. Since I had both of my girls at home when they were little and were protected from a lot of germs, the sicknesses never seemed to go away when one started in preschool and one was in kindergarten. They picked up everything from both places and then share at home. It still happens, but I can tell it is slightly better every year. This is normal...and comes with have kids. But, it is very stressful on the mom! You are right...pray. God will guide you to where you need to be most, whether that be trying to balance a career with young kids or at home. I know you will find peace with this because you are an amazing mom and woman. I hope you had a good run. :)

  2. Working & having a family is SUPER hard-- and I only did it for 18 months with ONE child! I can't even imagine how you juggle 3 & a career.... And I remember the worst part of working was when my one would be sick and I felt guilty going to work and leaving her, and I felt guilty if I was home caring for my child and not at work. I HATED IT!!! I pray you're able to find clarity in what you need to do-- and what would make your family thrive best. :) I'm sure it's terribly hard. See you Sunday afternoon!

  3. I agree with the above- working and trying to cope with sick kids is so stressful. I only worked outside the home with our first child- from the time she was about 6 months old until she was 2 when the second one came along. And I was only working part-time! That is one thing in and of itself that is so worth staying home if you can work it out financially- not worrying about scheduling doctor's appointments and figuring out who is going to stay home with the little sickie(s). I will keep you in my thoughts!!

  4. I was working full time as a teacher while I was pregnant with Kamdyn, and it was really hard to work all day and come home to a 1 year old and 3 year old. Austin was sick a lot, and I felt terrible on days when I had to drop him off when he had an ear infection or slept terrible the night before. We developed our own routine, and we made it work. I'm back to staying at home now, though. I feel for you.

  5. Oh I feel for you too. I have been in that place ... just keep talking and praying. It took me a long time to come to a decision that I felt was the best for all. Until you come to that place, be easy on yourself.

  6. Uck! I am so sorry to hear that all of the boys are feeling punk. It sounds viral if Calvin is not getting better with an antibiotic. Lots of prayers headed your way.