Saturday, January 21, 2012

18:366 (Wonderful Wednesday)

I have been wanting to share how great things are going around her with the CALVINaTOR.  The past 1.5 weeks have been so wonderful.  He has made more gains in that short time since the fall began.

As I begin to think about what I want to write, I remind myself of what it sometimes feels like to read other blogs and hear words from other parents.  I will admit to you I can feel like there is a fair amount of insensitivity in bragging.

When you have babies, you are often surrounded by other people having babies.  Sisters, brothers, friends, co-workers, neighbors, you name it.  We are not apart from that.  I have nieces and nephews very near Cal's age.  I have many friends who have had babies close to Cal's birth date.

Let me back up.  When I was pregnant with Cal and found out about his diagnosis, something changed.  I felt a loss.  I knew I was pregnant.  My stomach could not lie.  I felt him move around more than his brothers.  He was there, screaming, "Notice me!  I am about to change your life"!  Yet, as I looked around and saw other popped out tummies and heard women talk about their babies, I could no longer relate.  Call me dramatic, call me what you will.  My life was not going to be the same as I once thought.

So, going back to my point (thanks for reading about my many points, I hope they are not too sharp)...I NEVER want anyone to ready what I write and be hurt.  I NEVER want ANYONE to think I am only thinking of Calvin and not of the other children who struggle and/or work so much harder than him.  Hell, I never want anyone to think I do not think of the fact that I HAVE Calvin.  He is alive!

Dang, here I go again, getting off topic.  Calvin has been doing well, for him.  And, this is not about winning and competing, as there is plenty of it elsewhere.  I am not interested in his life becoming someone's game.  Hell, he is not my game.  (Okay, enough 'hell', I am not a swearer, but sometimes it is necessary to express my feelings, damn it - had to add that for my dad).

Seriously, could you just get to the point?  My blood sugar level is low, I need some dessert...

I am trying to say that my feelings get hurt when people brag about how awesome their kid is doing and my 18 month old is nowhere near that, or is, but their child is a quarter his age.  It is tough because I am a flawed human being.  But then God steps in and reminds me to a) quit swearing, b)grow up, I am a mom c)focus on Him d)focus on Him - yes, he says that twice

Okay, here goes my description of where Cal is at: He points and babbles, he mimics A LOT, he rocks on all 4's, he laughs more, he has a stronger/longer attention span for books, he says "ada" and signs "all done" but don't get me wrong he has no clue to use that when he is all done because he randomly does it or mimics me but I'll take what I can get, he dances, he drives cars on his dads leg after his dad shows him, he stacks this stacker but again I'm not saying he stacks all of them and in the right spot but he can put one or two on and not just throw them, and I know there is more but he is always here so I do not notice all the changes but I know they are there and I am loving it! (talk about run-on sentences)

It was hard to teach Cal things when he didn't respond.  I need that reinforcement and now I am getting it!

Pictures from today...
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Nolan helped make a fun video that I intend to share soon :)
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Nolan and I had some quality time while the Q slept.
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Gotta love diapers.com!
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9 comments:

  1. I love that you call him the CALVINaTOR! Ilisa, brag brag brag away! We as parents are supposed to celebrate our children's triumphs and many of us want to celebrate those with you (even if my own Ellie isn't even doing some of the things your little man is doing and she is older :) I agree, it is so hard to teach your children things when they are not responding. It is like beating your head against a brick wall. Then finally, suddenly, it is like a bit developmental spurt and our children surprise us. Wow us. Anyway, what I am trying to say is that you should be bragging and that we do want to hear it! Whoo hoo, Calvin!!!!!

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  2. We are a box loving family around here too. My kids LOVE them. I fact they're helping to decorate our moving boxes. Hang in there my friend. It's natural to want the kids to do more and be discouraged when it seems to come so easily for some kids. Don't hold it in. And when Calvin does something even remotely exciting..... Shout it from the rooftops so we can all celebrate with you.

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  3. I know what you mean about the instant gratification of knowing you are getting through. There are days I feel like I repeat things 100 times and I still don't know if she has a clue what I'm saying. Yay for everything Calvin IS doing! I personally love reading about it! I hope you fixed that blood sugar :-)

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  4. Fantastic post. I get how you feel. Some days it's tough to tell people that Abby is 18 months when they think she's MUCH younger based on her physical and verbal skills. But when she does reach a milestone- the thrill makes the rest of that not seem so terrible.

    Don't ever quit swearing. It's what keeps me sane.

    hell fart damn.

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  5. Please brag away every single detail...every single thing that sweet boy has accomplished because I want to celebrate with you! You need to, actually, because I get it...a lot of your readers get that absolute feeling of cherishing every accomplishment, no matter how small. Plus, you are not the type that ever comes across as bragging. I like how real your thoughts are too n your blog...that is one of the many reasons I lloyd reading your blog. Oh, love those pictures too, as always!

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  6. On YOUR blog, when you talk about YOUR kid, that is NEVER considered bragging!! We all come to your blog to hear about what Calvin is up to and to look at your beautiful family pictures...Never think you are bragging or being insensitive to anyone else's feelings when you talk about all the amazing things Calvin is accomplishing...After all his hard work he deserves to be "bragged" about on here :)

    And I thought I would also add, when Russell was his age it took him a long time to "get" anything. We would have to repeat things over and over and I remember feeling very discouraged as he would sit and stare at me blankly...I often wondered if he understood...And now it is so different. He picks things up much quicker. So I think it comes with age and maturity...The older Calvin gets the faster things may click. Calvin is doing fantastic!

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  7. I know how you feel. Sometimes it is a bit painful to hear about things kids younger than Cora (with Ds) are doing when she is not. And then just when I think that nothing is happening, she surprises me. I am learning that she really has 47 chromosomes of stubborn and won't do things until she is ready to show us she can, which is often much after she is capable. But I agree with the others. I love hearing what Cal can do. It's a weird balance to find, since we are so proud and want to share their accomplishments, but also don't want to hurt others. It's nice that you're sensitive to that. But, since it is YOUR blog I for one want to hear about Calvin too!

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  8. I know exactly what you mean about the insensitivity of bragging. It is so hard not to make comparisons. When I do brag on Levi, I am often thinking about the zillion other things he ISN'T doing. But this is your blog and your place to record milestones and victories. We are all cheering along with you as Calvin grows!!

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  9. I agree with everyone else. I enjoy very much reading about Calvin and all his accomplishments! I also feel sadness when I see children younger than Ben reach their milestones before him. In fact, I just had lunch with a friend last week whose son is 9 months old. I'd been avoiding her because I didn't want to see how advanced her son was. Luckily, it wasn't as painful as I expected. Ben was much cuter than her son:) Blogs can also give me that twinge of sadness too. Ben isn't crawling, making many sounds, drinking from a straw, communicating with signs, etc. This journey isn't easy, is it? Last but not least, because of you and Jenny, I cut out a therapist from Ben's schedule. I've never been quite satisfied with her and only kept seeing her because I didn't want to be a bad mom. Now Ben and I have Tuesday mornings to ourselves while Colin is at school. It is so special. Thank you for that little push to do what is right for us!

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