Wednesday, April 18, 2012

mega ultra stressed

Lets just say I'm mega ultra stressed out.

Adobe photoshop 4 was released right after I purchased 3 back in Feb.  Fortunately I was within the days of purchase and release that allowed me a free upgrade.  I was very happy about that.  It literally took me hours (roughly 2) to get this squared away.  Talk about a waste of time.  I downloaded it, finally - after 1.5 months of processing junk, and I found out my computer does not support it.

Done.  Just. Like. That.  I have to get over it.  I can still have this version when/if I upgrade my computer.  That's the thing though.  It all costs money!  I have to get over it and this is helping.  Process process process.

If only we could upgrade our personal/body processors.  I think my processor does not support all this learning!

This photography business is obviously taking a lot out of me.  I do not blog much.  I rarely read other blogs.  I am okay with that because I know school is out soon.  I am getting closer to a point in my life where something has to change.  And not something small.

The 3 boys are a lot of work.  As most of my readers know from personal experience.

I can say that I have cleaned my house 4 times in the last 24 hours.  Not vacuum clean - pick up kind of clean.  I am sick of it.  I just want my life to be more simple.  I always say simple is less stressful.

Sometimes I question what I am doing.  Training for a tri (which one is coming up in 1 week), nursing Cal still, working 32 hours a week, house work, kid work, photography work...too much work :(

I am crazy and stupid.  Simple as that.  Now it's time to go round up some boys to clean up the tractors and 'manure' (Rummikubs) that are spread throughout my upper floor.

:(  Please tell me it gets easier.  Please tell me Calvin will sleep through the night.  Soon.  That one night was the one that sometimes happens every couple of months.  I am tired and burnt out.

Okay, this was not a fun post!  Next time?  Fun.

And no, I have not gotten my new camera yet.  Joe and I have spent the last 3 months trying to refinance our home.  That is a whole 'nuther post.  Maybe we'll close in a couple of weeks.  Just lowering our interest rate but we thought we were going to have come up with 10's of thousands of dollars only to find out there is a program out there to support borrowers like us who have paid our mortgages faithfully for many years but just don't have 80% down (since the value of homes is down so darn much).  We have about 93% down and our appraisal dropped about 70,000 in 3 years....

Okay.  Enough negativity!  Off to round up the troops!


  1. Oh Ilisa! Yikes, girl! You have so much on your plate. I wish that I had some awesome advice for you, but I do not. Hang in there. {{{HUGS}}}

  2. I am sending you tons of love and hugs! The biggest message I have been reading in my daily devotional is about peace...finding that peace through Him. I will pray you find some peace because you do have so many things going on. You know I am here for you anytime.

  3. I feel for you, Ilisa! I also feel tired and burned out. I sometimes think just a few nights of sleep would make me a new person, but it never happens. I have to get up about 4 times a night every night with Adam or Levi. It is killing me & I have to jut trudge thru each day. You are not alone & I hope things improve quickly!

  4. Hang in there Ilisa, you are doing great and remember to ask for help as we are all here for you. Love ya!

  5. Hugs Ilisa! I'll be praying that life settles down a bit for you. I do understand about the lack of sleep. Ben should be waking up any time now . . .

  6. Yikes. Hoping things calm down soon. You are doing an impressive amount of stuff these days.

  7. Ugh! I am so sorry you are feeling so stressed, you have so much going on right now. I hope things slow down for you when school ends. Hang in there!