Wednesday, April 18, 2012

mega ultra stressed

Lets just say I'm mega ultra stressed out.

Adobe photoshop 4 was released right after I purchased 3 back in Feb.  Fortunately I was within the days of purchase and release that allowed me a free upgrade.  I was very happy about that.  It literally took me hours (roughly 2) to get this squared away.  Talk about a waste of time.  I downloaded it, finally - after 1.5 months of processing junk, and I found out my computer does not support it.

Done.  Just. Like. That.  I have to get over it.  I can still have this version when/if I upgrade my computer.  That's the thing though.  It all costs money!  I have to get over it and this is helping.  Process process process.

If only we could upgrade our personal/body processors.  I think my processor does not support all this learning!

This photography business is obviously taking a lot out of me.  I do not blog much.  I rarely read other blogs.  I am okay with that because I know school is out soon.  I am getting closer to a point in my life where something has to change.  And not something small.

The 3 boys are a lot of work.  As most of my readers know from personal experience.

I can say that I have cleaned my house 4 times in the last 24 hours.  Not vacuum clean - pick up kind of clean.  I am sick of it.  I just want my life to be more simple.  I always say simple is less stressful.

Sometimes I question what I am doing.  Training for a tri (which one is coming up in 1 week), nursing Cal still, working 32 hours a week, house work, kid work, photography work...too much work :(

I am crazy and stupid.  Simple as that.  Now it's time to go round up some boys to clean up the tractors and 'manure' (Rummikubs) that are spread throughout my upper floor.

:(  Please tell me it gets easier.  Please tell me Calvin will sleep through the night.  Soon.  That one night was the one that sometimes happens every couple of months.  I am tired and burnt out.

Okay, this was not a fun post!  Next time?  Fun.

And no, I have not gotten my new camera yet.  Joe and I have spent the last 3 months trying to refinance our home.  That is a whole 'nuther post.  Maybe we'll close in a couple of weeks.  Just lowering our interest rate but we thought we were going to have come up with 10's of thousands of dollars only to find out there is a program out there to support borrowers like us who have paid our mortgages faithfully for many years but just don't have 80% down (since the value of homes is down so darn much).  We have about 93% down and our appraisal dropped about 70,000 in 3 years....

Okay.  Enough negativity!  Off to round up the troops!

7 comments:

  1. Oh Ilisa! Yikes, girl! You have so much on your plate. I wish that I had some awesome advice for you, but I do not. Hang in there. {{{HUGS}}}

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  2. I am sending you tons of love and hugs! The biggest message I have been reading in my daily devotional is about peace...finding that peace through Him. I will pray you find some peace because you do have so many things going on. You know I am here for you anytime.

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  3. I feel for you, Ilisa! I also feel tired and burned out. I sometimes think just a few nights of sleep would make me a new person, but it never happens. I have to get up about 4 times a night every night with Adam or Levi. It is killing me & I have to jut trudge thru each day. You are not alone & I hope things improve quickly!

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  4. Hang in there Ilisa, you are doing great and remember to ask for help as we are all here for you. Love ya!

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  5. Hugs Ilisa! I'll be praying that life settles down a bit for you. I do understand about the lack of sleep. Ben should be waking up any time now . . .

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  6. Yikes. Hoping things calm down soon. You are doing an impressive amount of stuff these days.

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  7. Ugh! I am so sorry you are feeling so stressed, you have so much going on right now. I hope things slow down for you when school ends. Hang in there!

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