I mean Mother.
Things are tough. I'm in one of those moods. The thin line that lies between crabby/cranky and snarky. Maybe just have to be honest.
I have not blogged much lately for obvious reasons like working, mothering, photographing -which is so behind where I want to be :-( and the day to day life of being a wife and sister and friend and daughter and whatever other role needs to be assigned to me.
I'm like that. People either like me or they don't. I think if they don't it's cause they don't know my true heart. I will be honest. I am easily shamed and many times walked on, pushed over, hugged, laughed at, judged, and many other activities ;) The point is, I'm just a person trying to figure this out, knowing I never will.
I'll never understand why or how or what to do next. I think I know who does though, so I try to look up and not out. One day at a time. One minute at a time, and when it doesn't go well, look up. I simply cannot take it on myself.
Take for example my loss of memory these days. Sure, I can be judged or laughed at for this. Come on over. I'll step out and let you (not you) run this show. It is reality and I'm okay with it. If people are not forgiving then they will suffer being around me! I forget shit. I just do. Not cuz I don't care or I'm lazy or doing something wrong. Just cuz I might remember one minute then Evan will come to me and tell me Nolan pee'd in his cereal. Really, would you prioritize anything over dealing with that?! I didn't think so. Neither did his dad...
Then, there's my stomach and the embarrassing fact that at the end of a day I was absolutely miserable and looking 6 months pregnant. No exaggeration. Thanks to some supplements I'm good to go (I think) Basically I had no stomach acid or digestive enzymes digesting my food.
Next, taking care of a garage sale that I decided to sell my baby items at. I was not ready, then I was and now I'm glad. If I have more kids, so be it. I'll borrow from everyone else. I never want to store that crap again. (Forgive the language, its that thin line talking, I am applying a little filter, and I know it's nothing compared to some of you!)
Okay, what other crap has been on my plate? Oh, strep. My own fever was 103.1 on Sunday after a nap that left my throat parched because my pillow stole all my spit. My pillow knows I have strep right?!
Then, Cal's pneumonia. Oh, didn't hear about that? Yep, xray confirmed yesterday but I think we're in the clear. His temp was also 103.1 yesterday...lucky! But we're good to go. Much better today. He had been on an antibiotic since Friday due to the strep in the house and I think that helped. My only complaint is the pharmacist and another person working there who told me they didn't have the script ready cuz of a computer problem even though today I found out the dr himself called in the script. The pharmacist told me last night "a day won't make a difference". I'm mad at myself for walking away from that and not advocating for Calvin.
Then, for the good news....ready?...wait for it....I have a new nephew! Colten Douglas born to Joe's sister Doop and her husband Dan. He is a peanut - 4lbs15oz and I can't wait to meet him.
Tomorrow. I have had a tiring day worrying about Calvin and being 1.5 hours away for work training.
Okay, that is all I have time for tonight. Next time.