I am one happy lady these days. Being home, without obligations, such as summer school for Evan (which I decided will not happen again - neither of us cared for that extra piece of our lives), work training for me (though I did like that - enjoyed my company!!!), and the headache surrounding my computer (a story I'll get to in a bit), lends to a happy person. I truly feel like I did last year. I am enjoying the extra time with my boys. Feeling like I am their mom. God, it is where my heart is. I have never been more sure of anything in my life.
Where does it get me? Not sure. I like my job too and know Karen (daycare) is good for them and they love her and going there. This whole issue of "To work or not to work, that is the question" has been a major stressor for me this summer. I hate that.
2.5 weeks is a long time. I don't wish for my blogging to be so sporadic. I want to be here, updating on how things are with Calvin. Jotting down memories for myself. Creating a masterpiece for the boys to read some day if they want. Perhaps for even my great great grandchildren.
So, I'll do my best to get caught up and stay caught up! But no guarantees these days!
Calvin has been Crank-master C! I know it has been teething on top of not feeling well. I also know he has had only a few real positive day in months. Well, that has changed! 2 weeks ago I ordered a Baltic Amber Teething Necklace for him and it was the best decision I've made in months!
I was tired of giving, and worried about using, so much Ibuprofen to get through the days and nights. I tried to limit it to once a day, but usually used it twice. Well, since starting that necklace 1.5 weeks ago I have not given him a dose and he is a different boy. I swear. And I am not one who falls for gimmicks BUT I am open-minded, especially when desperate and at my wits-end! Calvin now has 4 teeth on the top popped through and 2 more making their way along with 1 on the bottom now through.
I feel so much love and joy with him these days. I admit, it is easier when he is happier. He is so lovey and happy. A few nights ago he played after the other 2 went to bed. He'd stop and come stand by me (not free-standing yet) just to rub my legs and laugh and smile. Then off to play some more. So different. Thank you, God! He's also doing the cutest thing. I say "roll" and he lays down and rolls over and over! That is very new. Calvin definitely has strong receptive language skills. Sure, not like his brothers at 2 but we are good with that!
Anyway, enough on that, but I am feeling so free!
I'm up to nearly 20 miles a week in my running and getting in swimming and biking. I bring the boys to the gym kids-care and I go swim, then get them to swim and we go home all feeling fresh and tired out - it is great!
In other news, I brought Evan and Nolan to the eye dr. 2 weeks ago. It was a nightmare. 2.5 hours and naughty boys. I was embarrassed, exhausted (Joe was gone in Canada to fish and it was Day 5), and stressed. Nolan has been an eye crosser since being a baby and he now needs some patching. He will go back in a couple of months. That poor boy. Mouth piece and eye patching. When the doctor came in she said, "He (referring to Evan) is good to go, but he (referring to Nolan) is another story." I had to laugh. I told her he (Nolan) is another story in more ways than this.
I love Nolan with all my heart. He has taught me a lot and he loves on people like no other (don't let the rough, hair-pulling fool you - it is a strange dichotomy).
Evan is doing well. He is my first born and makes me so proud. He is smart and loves to learn. He is responsible and cautious. He is definitely a product of me and Joe...poor kid in some ways! I hate to think he will be anxious and worried like me!
Finally, Calvin is doing so well. He sees the cardiologist this month. His therapists are pleased with him, too. He is pointing and making sounds. He waves appropriately. He says and signs "Ah da" appropriately (like when I picked him up out of the tube last week!). He crawls like nobody's business and he loves to eat and play and hug. Now that he is happy we get to see the real Cal and I am so grateful.
Calvin weighs about 19 (probably 20 with all the eating he is doing-including feeding himself more and more) pounds. I don't know how tall he is, but he is still in size 12 month clothes and 3 diapers. He is my fill. I am getting more than my fair share of baby-hood and it is making me feel okay about the likelihood Joe and I will never have anymore babies (though I am holding on to the idea of one more - not ready to let go just yet - Question though, are we Moms ever ready???).
Calvin still nurses but my supply is very low. That is natural and does not mean it is worthless. I feel like it is a natural progression as I am not pushing it one way or another. I figure we'll keep this up until one of us has had enough. And, I don't pump much when away from him - which isn't often, but next year at school I won't pump which will relieve a lot of my stress.
Some people ask me when Calvin will walk (to the best of my knowledge). I don't know, but I would guess this time next year I'll have a runner (hopefully not in the run-and-hide sense: after the local news-story of a boy with autism getting lost for almost 20 hours a half mile from home, I worry).
Cal loves on his brothers and boy do they love on him. I could not have asked for a better family. It brings tears to my eyes. Every stressful situation I know I will grow from. It is what gets me through. Having Calvin placed in my life is proof of that and was the number 1 lesson I received thus far. I know God is behind it all and therefore I know it all works out and my new motto is: "It's not worth stressing over" and I actually live up to it sometimes - something new for me these past few months. Sure, easier said than done, but I suspect with more practice I just may not even need to recite it.
Happy Monday! I am going to post with pictures next! (without my 'real' computer it is a challenge)