Sunday, September 30, 2012

Dusting off the cobwebs

It has been hounding me.  This blog!  I cannot believe the days turn into weeks as quickly as the local pond waters freeze into ice.

In truth, I was hinging my participation here on the idea that maybe I'd have my days left at work numbered or simply behind me.  That is not the case however.

I cannot believe I waited this long to decide to stay home.  My photography is taking off and spreading like wildfire.  It is a blessing.

God does truly take care of His creatures.  Just as he makes sure the birds have food, we will as well.

I have been meaning to post about my stomach.  That will have to wait since I need to get to bed soon (I have about 2 weeks left at work!).  Quickly I will say that the doctor I am seeing (Dr. Paulson with Osceola Naturopathic Clinic) is amazing.  She is my coach, cheerleader, and guide.  She knows a lot, let me tell you!  I have had to make HUGE adjustments to my already adjusted (dairy and gluten free) diet.  I am a boring person to eat with.  It is amazing to me it took this long in life to have these issues.
Roasted Garbanzo Beans (Chick Peas): soaked organic beans over night, tossed in grapeseed oil and some seasoning, baked at 200 for an hour, cooled, then baked at 330 for another hour: all on my own and I'm not sure what the heck I'm doing...so I'll post an update another time....

More on that another time!  My gut is still in the process of healing and it will probably be months.  But in the meantime I am healthy.  That makes me happy.

Calvin is completely weaned.  It took me 3 weeks to dry up!  My body was so used to nursing.

Weaning Calvin is/was hard and honestly I don't want to think about it much.  I feel like he should still be nursing.  But, again, that is why I am choosing not to think about it.

Calvin is doing pretty good.  He is plagued with another cold that has turned in to sinus and ear infection.  It is a painful reminder of why I am staying home.

Today was The Calvary's 3rd annual Buddy Walk in St. Paul.  We had a very nice turn out - so much love and I know God wants these things to just pull us together!  It was a year ago, on this walk, that Calvin was not doing well at all.  He ended up going to the dr and starting his journey to hospitalization for pneumonia and bronchiolitis.  What a difference a year makes!  Yet, he is sick...




Calvin REALLY wanted that sandwhi
(The Calvary combined with Will's family - the baby 2 miles away who was born in February and has Down syndrome - what a blessing for the boys and our families to have each other!)
Off to bed, enjoy some photos that will show you why we have not dusted the shelves, cooked many meals, or blogged recently:





















Thursday, September 13, 2012

New Beginnings

No pictures tonight.  Just a quick note to share an eventful day.  I turned in my resignation at work this afternoon.

I first shared my intent with the building principal and he was very supportive and understanding.  I told him I was okay with him letting the superintendent know and I would talk to him myself very soon.  Within a half hour the superintendent showed up at my office door.  I smiled and said "word travels quickly here I see".  He gave me a hug and told me I was doing the right thing.

"Family comes first. When you do something for your family, it is the right thing", he said.

"Thank you for this opportunity and placing your faith in me years ago when you hired me" I choked out.

"This only makes me have more faith in you."

"That is what makes this hard."

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After I announced it on Facebook:

Former school board president, Pastor Randy Dean: You are one of the finest humans I've known in the public education arena. So, whatever you've decided to do, you'll be a huge success because YOU are a fine human. Thank you.

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I will never know for sure if this was the right decision.  Whatever that means - right vs wrong.  I do know I will have times of regret.  To think otherwise is foolish and impossible considering what I just shared.  How could I go without missing a great group of people to work with?  

That said, I know what I need to do.  I am in love with my family and will go to the gates of hell for them, whatever form those gates come in.  Maybe it is working to establish a healthier diet than what we currently have here.  Maybe it is remembering to breath deeply when I have lost patience with one of the boys during the daytime when I would otherwise have been gone at work.  Whatever the struggle or need, it is my job to support them.  Yes, I know I cannot do everything, but I can do more now that I will be physically present for more hours of the day.  And, I am excited for that.  

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

orbit

When I was pregnant with Calvin I sat around a table with a few other parents of children with Down syndrome.  They spoke of how long it took until they looked at their child and did not think of Ds.  I thought it was impossible.  A part of me still thinks it is impossible.  I think it is not because it is impossible, but because the times I do think of it I forget the time spent not thinking about it.  When I look at Calvin, I truly see just him.  I am not burdened with the looming fears and thoughts that once clouded my vision of him.

I'm not sure I will never have fears or worries or stressors with him.  We do will all our children.  I just do not remember a day when those fears or worries were not orbited around a disability.  This feels so normal to me, like the earth orbiting around the sun.  It just is, and day still begins and night never fails to fall.