Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Gifts

Maybe good luck and bad luck are all mixed up. Zen Shorts

Maybe the holes in our canvas are the windows to God. One Thousand Gifts

I imagine great strength.  To have that which I do not.  To see visions I will never behold.  To feel emotions shoved down deep inside.

Many mornings, afternoons, and evenings I have lost words and only my ears could hear and the devil could plant fears.  Days I felt. In the horror of dreaded death and pain, I felt.  

A path I never chose, one I never signed up for has lead me here.  To be more true to myself than I could ever be without It.  Wonderful bridges, made of gold, have been built over both treacherous and drought infected waters.

Am I going to see the holes as windows or as snags in a perfect backdrop?  Can I possibly look at my disabled child and see God?  Will the tests in my relationships reflect light or darkness?  Will I dare approach and decide?  A leap of faith.

How, God, can I, like so many others, deplete my soul of the numbness caused by the burn of pain and fear? How can I find the strength to massage my soul time and time again, from now until my death?

I will return whole; to a perfect canvas in which I will no longer have to look through. 


(One Thousand Gifts, by Ann Voskamp - A must read)

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